Revealing My True Self

Today’s post is brought to you by Karen S. Richter, owner and founder of Cohesive Outcomes, LLC

I try to do things right. But I’m beginning to see that the desire for perfection may just be another way to hide, not only our imperfections, but our true selves.

A perfect example:  To prepare to be a guest blogger for Carly, I wanted to read all of her blog posts again to ensure that I could step into her shoes, mimic her style, and provide a seamless transition for her readers/followers.  As I reread Carly’s blog posts, I found myself intimidated.  She writes so well.  Her words just flow.  There is such profound meaning in her words.  I found myself saying “I can’t do this.  Who am I to be writing?  No one wants to listen to me.  I can’t be Carly.”

Then her “Shedding Layers of the False Self” blog post hit me right between the eyes.  Carly challenges us to shed layers of our false selves and to be authentic.  And here I was, trying to develop a whole new false self – the “Carly fill-in”, “Carly2”.  This blog post caused me to realize that I didn’t need to put up yet another layer of false self by trying to be Carly.  My desire to learn Carly’s style was simply a way for me to hide my true self – to protect myself from getting hurt if Carly’s readers didn’t love me and/or what I had to say.

The blog post also caused me to realize how much I admire when someone else reveals their true self. (Carly shares the “sense of gratitude” in her client’s eyes that Carly “was willing to be human with her”.)  I admire the courage it takes to open up and be vulnerable.  Even more, I am grateful when they are willing to share their authentic self with me – it tells me that they feel safe enough with me to let their inner-being show.  I feel honored that they trust me enough to place into my care, their emotional well-being.

It’s become clear to me that when we are only focused on our own emotions (especially feelings of insecurity), we are making the situation all about us.  We are not allowing the others involved in the situation to be trusted and honored by sharing with them.    We deprive them of those feelings of pride and satisfaction that come along when they feel someone trusts them with their most vulnerable self.

I am really taking to heart Carly’s blog about revealing our true selves.  Here I am – writing as Karen, not as Karen-trying-to-be-Carly.  I am using this blog as an opportunity to practice exactly what Carly shared with us – revealing our true selves.  And, let me tell you, it comes as such a relief!  It takes a lot of energy to play a role, to pretend to be something I’m not.  It is so freeing, and I feel the stress dissipating.  I am now much better able to go with the flow, and to trust in it.  And it is so much easier to simply write what is in my head, and not feel the need to put it through a filter and a translator so it comes out looking like something Carly would write.  I truly look forward to sharing more with you soon.

In her “Shedding Layers of the False Self” blog post, Carly asks many questions.  Continuing along that same train of thought, I pose the following questions:

• What’s holding you back from shedding the layers of your false self?
• How would it feel to honor others by showing trust and confidence in them?

To do: When you feel the need to hide your inner self, notice – who are you protecting?  Are you making the situation all about you?  How would it feel to instead think about the other person, and how honored and trusted they might feel if you opened up and revealed yourself to them?

Karen S. Richter loves helping others ‘find inner peace in parenthood’.  As the owner of Cohesive Outcomes, LLC (a company dedicated to enriching the lives of parents), Karen finds her own inner peace by getting outdoors to enjoy nature as often as possible, and living in her old (220+ years) farmhouse in Bucks County, PA with her husband, two children, 3 cats, and many chickens.

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