Is meditation part of your life?
April 1, 2010
We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. -Dalai Lama
For many years, I heard about how adding meditation to your day could significantly increase your happiness, satisfaction and health as well as reduce stress.
At first, I wasn’t convinced. I just didn’t get it. I thought to myself, “I have no time to waste on meditation! I can’t sit still and do nothing for 30 minutes!!! And what is meditation anyway and how do I do it??”
Over time, when things started to get stressful at work and in my personal life, I began looking for a way to get through it. I slowly became open to the idea of meditation and began to learn about different techniques and try them out.
Although I’m not yet disciplined to have a daily meditation practice, my experience over the past several years has shown me how beneficial it can be. I have gone from frantic states to a sense of calm and inner peace. In my work and in my personal life, I have seen how finding calmness in my inner world allows me to manage my external world. My moods are more even, I am able to refresh and energize myself without caffeine, and I am able to be more efficient in my work.
For instance, this past week, the gray skies and constant rain were getting to me. Congestion and a sore throat had me tired and foggy-headed. Stress started to increase and focus started to decrease. I knew I couldn’t get through the rest of my day until I did something to change the course I was on.
So instead of listening to that old voice that said meditation was a waste of time and that I needed to just sit there until I got my work done, I stepped away from my desk for 45 valuable minutes. I listened to my CD, Your Present: A Half-Hour of Peace by Susie Mantell. And I followed it with 15 minutes of stretching and using my Back Buddy to release tension in my neck and shoulders.
Forty-five minutes later, my perspective had shifted. My neck pain and tension melted away. I got back to my desk and there in my inbox were a few emails I had been waiting for and all contained good news. And I knocked off several items that had been lingering on my to-do list all week. Plus I had enough energy to entertain the members of my book club that were coming over that night.
I know I have a long way to go to improve my meditation practice, but I suspect it will always be in my life. I guess that’s why they call it a practice. It takes dedication to incorporate into your life and years to increase your skill and ability. I thank all of you who encouraged me to try meditation and hope to inspire others to give it a try.
Do you meditate?
What are your favorite techniques? Do you have any favorite CDs or DVDs?
How has meditation made a positive difference in your life?
What inspirational stories do you have to give others out there reason to give it a try?
Or have you thought about meditation but were afraid to try?
“Meditation brings wisdom; lack of mediation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what hold you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom.” - Buddha
Birthday Meanings and Celebrations
March 25, 2010
My birthday is next week and it’s got me thinking about the rituals we have for marking the occasion. This year, its one of those “big” ones (you know, the ones that end in either a 5 or a 0.) What does it mean? How do I celebrate?
I’ll admit that this year is no different than most; I’m filled with a little anxiety as the day approaches. “What do you want to do for your birthday?” my husband has started to ask. My typical response is, “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it much.” Life is busy and despite the fact that each year I want to give my birthday special attention, it usually approaches quickly and is gone before I know it.
What is it about birthdays? For me, I don’t have fear about getting older (although I admit I’m not happy with the increasing number of gray hairs or wrinkles I have.) My anxiety comes from wanting to find a significant way to mark the day. To properly acknowledge it’s meaning. But why do I have all these expectations weighing on me to mark it the right way? Do others feels this same way?
Meanings
What exactly is the meaning of birthdays? Why do we give them significance?I’m not sure I have the answers to those questions. These questions give rise to many others for me. Is it a celebration of the day we entered this world? Is it a day to mark that “I survived another year”? Is it recognition of the impact we’ve had in our lives? Is it just an excuse to eat, drink and be merry with friends and loved ones?
I’ve always thought of my birthday as the start of my new year – literally a day of rebirth for me. A day when I acknowledge that I’ve managed to make it through another year on the roller coaster of life; a day to take stock of all that I’m grateful for; a day to look ahead to what the next year of life has to offer. It’s a day that gives me new hope. Just as the tree and flower buds hold the potential of Summer’s abundance, the 29th of March holds the promise of 365 upcoming days to collect meaningful and fulfilling moments of life – to honor my values, to accomplish goals, learn and grow as a human being, to build new relationships and to strengthen old ones.
Celebrations
Big parties? Small intimate dinners or lunches? A cake with candles? Indulging in your favorite foods? A day of pampering? Getting away? Jump out of an airplane?
How to celebrate? This might be the part that causes the most anxiety for me. There’s something in me that feels like celebrating my birthday in a big way is self-indulgent. Like I’m making the assumption that others want to be part of celebrating “me.” But if its about marking all that the year has held for you and the promise of what’s to come, what’s better than surrounding yourself with love and spending the occasion with close friends and loved ones?
My guess is that they way you choose celebrate is all about the meaning you attribute to your birthday. This year, all I have planned so far is a home-cooked dinner with a small handful of close friends and family. I’m also giving myself the day off of work. I’d like to spend time outside in nature (weather permitting) and maybe partake in a little self-care by scheduling a much-needed haircut and maybe even a massage. Feels like a good plan but not sure it captures all that I’d like it to.
I’m very open to ideas and would love your help. What meaning does your birthday hold for you? What do you do to celebrate your birthday? Any favorite traditions you keep?
All About the Journey
February 23, 2010
Today’s post was written by guest blogger and my dear friend and colleague, Tracy Sullivan.
The 5:05 or the 5:12? I asked myself this question one ordinary weekday as I was planning my commute home from NY to NJ.
The 5:05 train will get me home faster. No need to transfer trains or wait on a cold platform. I’ll have to hustle, but I decided I can do it.
The next 30 minutes are a blur. I throw on my coat, strap on my backpack. My mission is to catch the 5:05. No one can stop me. My breath quickens, my neck tightens, and my face is serious with a look that says “out of my way!”
Off I go – sprinting through the streets of lower Manhattan. With each step I’m lost in my thoughts –
“Will I make it?”
“Why won’t this person get out of my way?”
“Don’t they know I have to catch the 5:05???”
“Oh man I wish I had on my sneakers – these shoes are killing me!”
“I don’t know if I’ll make it! Tick-tock!”
“Damn – this sucks, I want to make the 5:05! 5:05! 5:05!!!”
I am so fixated on the time it’s as if I might vanish into thin air if I don’t make this 5:05 train.
Back to my racing thoughts, “what’s so important about this 5:05 train anyway?” My mind begins to shift – “Isn’t there another train right after? Wouldn’t it be easier to simply slow down, relax and just take the 5:12?”
Yeah, sure, that makes sense.
“But no, I REALLY want to make the 5:05 – I said that was the train I was going to take – damn it, I’m taking that train!!”
I’m almost there — out of breath, feet hurting, sweating, back aching, running down the stairs to catch the PATH train that will take me to the 5:05 commuter train.
Phew, I made it!! I congratulate myself for this amazing feat. But I soon realize the PATH train is not moving. It’s DELAYED!!!!!!
NO!!!!!!!! I realize after all that running and stressing out, I’m not even going to make the 5:05 after all.
Then the strangest thing happens… in an instant, I relax. The option for the 5:05 was now off the table; the choice was made for me. I realize there was a 5:12 train all along and I would definitely make that train. I took out my iPod and let myself enjoy some tunes.
“Ha! This seems ridiculous!” I said to myself, “only now could I finally relax?!?!”
On the rest of my commute home I thought about other goals in my life and where I need to relax and let things be. That’s easy – the pursuit of marriage and children. Instead of putting pressure on myself to be married by “X” age, I need to give myself permission to enjoy the ride instead of worrying about “missing the train.”
So often we find ourselves focused only on reaching goals that we miss the point – it’s about the journey, not the destination. Life is about making the most of every day. Savoring and celebrating all that you can while you move closer and closer towards your destination/end-goal.
So, I thought to myself, how do I want to live my life? On the path of the 5:05 (struggle, stress and worry)? Or relaxed, happy and enjoying the journey to my destination via the 5:12 train?
Either way, I’ll still make it to my destination (later than I expected) but happier and more relaxed. All I need to do is let go of trying to control when, where and how I’ll get there.
Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy. –Sarah Ban Breathnach
When Tracy Sullivan is not chasing down trains, she enjoys her life in Bedminster, NJ — good friends, a family she’s close to, and a career in Human Resources. She looks forward meeting the right guy to share that with, and in turn, to share his life, friends, and family.
Just Do It! Advice From Nike in 2010
January 27, 2010
I’m being haunted by a voice in my head. The longtime slogan of Nike keeps ringing in my ears – JUST DO IT!
It seems to be my emerging theme for 2010.
As 2009 drew to a close, I began to notice in many of my clients, in myself and in those around me a collective “holding back”. Action seemed to take a back burner during the holiday months as the fears of the economy mounted and frustrations of draining, unfulfilling work got the best of us.
For me, it showed up as a kind of paralysis. My list of to do’s was long, yet each day I spent more time staring at my list than I did accomplishing even the most minor of tasks on it. I knew I should be doing more yet there was this feeling of “waiting” that came over me.
“Why start something new now?” the voice questioned, “It’s the holidays. Take time off. Don’t work so hard. Wait until January.”
Was this normal holiday haze or was it something different? The frustrating part for me was that I knew what I needed to do. I had taken the time to plan. I had taken the time to explore my fears and know what my blocks were. But still, there was no action.
As I probed deeper, memories from my last December in corporate America came flooding to my mind and body. The exhaustion caused by the long hours and the push to get the last bit of work done before the holiday break. I remembered my resentment at the late evening and weekend phone calls with my team that crept into my celebration and shopping time. And unconsciously there was this protective part of me that wasn’t going to let that happen this year now that I was my own boss.
But was I stuck in neutral in spite of myself? Was I really protecting myself or was I hurting myself and my business? My guess is that I won’t know until more time passes and I have the clarity of hindsight. (I’ll keep you posted.)
And despite the lack of clarity, something did shift for me. In the days leading up to the New Year, the itch began to grow. I started checking things off my list and getting excited to start work again.
And now that 2010 is in full swing, I am seeing the results of my new Just Do It! motto. How am I doing it? By following a few simple “rules” I’ve learned over the years.
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post when I’ll share these simple tips.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you. What was your energy like at the close of 2009? Has that changed in 2010? What are you doing to stay in action and move towards your goals?
What’s life got to do with it? – Extraordinary Foundation
January 13, 2010
This post originally ran on July 30, 2009 on the blog, Less Ordinary Living.
Has this ever happened to you? You had an unfocused, unproductive week at work and you couldn’t understand why!
That’s what happened to me last week. I thought I had everything in place – a 3-year business vision, annual goals, monthly revenue projections, a marketing strategy, monthly goals, daily and weekly action steps, two weekly calls with my accountability partner Phil…Yet I still couldn’t get out of my own way. I couldn’t manage to sit down and accomplish much. My attention wandered, I was distracted by email, doing laundry and waiting for the next post to pop up on Facebook. I was having trouble sleeping and was exhausted most of the day.
What was up? What kind of coach and role model was I being? I followed all the rules, implemented all the systems for success and still nothing could break me out of my unproductive funk.
Disturbed, I pulled out my journal and began to write down any thought that came into my head. Surprisingly, not many of them were work related. Here’s what came out on the page – I’ve been struggling with the chronic illness of a family member, worried about my husband and concerned how much longer he can endure working at his unfulfilling job while managing a job search in this economy, feeling guilty because I’ve been busy and out of touch with friend and family, worried about money, and frustrated that I haven’t finished my home office renovations yet.
My guess is a few of these ring true for you as well. So many of us push through the daily tasks of our work telling ourselves that we’ll get to our personal lives later, when we’re done with work. Yet work never quite seems to end and later keeps getting pushed off. And if you’re like me, when I don’t take time to focus on my personal life, honor what’s important to me and process my emotions, I feel like I’m on shaky ground, carrying a bag of rocks around with me through dense fog. And boy does it wipe me out trying to work while I’m carrying those rocks through the fog! Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our personal life is with us during our workday. The unresolved issues and unprocessed emotions take space in your brain; they mentally (and physically) wear you out and keep you from doing your best work.
As I’ve moved through my career, I’ve noticed my tolerance for pushing off my personal life has decreased as the impact it has on my professional success increases. I now see self-care as a top priority not only in having a high quality of life but also in my career success. If I don’t have the solid foundation of my personal life, no matter how hard I try, I cannot be fully present and successful in running my business.
So when it hit me last week that life was getting in the way of business, I took swift action. I made time for some self-care, I got in touch with friends and family, I talked to my coach, did some financial planning and finally got my home office together.
The energy shift was amazing! Not only do I feel good about the attention I paid to my personal life but in less than a week’s time, I’ve gotten many tasks off the work to-do list and several doors have opened to exciting and unexpected opportunities.
I am taking away a powerful lesson from this experience; a critical key to career success is making your personal life a priority. Taking time to care for yourself, process your emotions and nourish your relationships not only frees you from carrying that bag of rocks through fog, it also is a vital source of energy to accomplish nothing less than the extraordinary in your business and career!
What’s standing the way of your career success? What needs handling in your personal life? What support do you need to move forward?
Successful Job Searching – Extraordinary Mindset
January 13, 2010
This post originally ran on July 14, 2009 on the blog, Less Ordinary Living.
“No one’s hiring.”
“There are so many people like me looking for a job.”
“No one’s gotten back to me.”
“I’m not qualified.” “I’m over qualified.”
“I’ll never find a new job.”
Sound familiar? Most people we talk to these days with are in career transition. They’re out searching for the few available positions in a market flooded with many qualified candidates. The odds may seem stacked against you. The search can feel daunting and emotions can begin to swirl – lack of confidence, desperation, feeling like you have to “sell” yourself and your soul for a steady paycheck.
Last week, I had two conversations with colleagues actively engaged in the job search process and the two couldn’t have been more different.
“Bob” sounded like the quotes above. He’s discouraged. He lacks confidence. He’s questioning his abilities. He feels like he’s tried everything and still can’t find a new job. He feels isolated. He feels like a failure.
“Joe” on the other hand sounded upbeat. He believes that although he’s been searching for over six months and unemployment is getting close to running out, he will find something that he loves. He is 100% confident in his success. He’s got back-up plans to make money and pay the bills while he searches. He’s being creative about aligning his passions and his career. He is constantly talking to friends, family, and even near strangers about his ideas and opportunities.
This stark contrast got me thinking about what sets people apart in their job search. Both Bob and Joe are smart, qualified and experienced professionals. Yet something is different. I began to suspect that what makes you successful is not just what you’re “doing” but how you’re “being.” It seems to me that the success of your job search is highly related to, if not dependent on your mindset.
Our mindset is our attitude, disposition or mood. And often times, we aren’t conscious of the influence our mindset can have on our success or lack there of. You could be “doing” all the right things but showing up in a way that undermines your potential.
But how do we change it? How do we set ourselves up with a mindset that positively influences our job search success? How do we even realize what our mindset is at any given moment?
What stories do you have to share?
Is your mindset playing a role in your success?
Did you notice a moment when your mindset shifted from Bob’s to Joe’s?
How does it feel to be in these mindsets?