What’s life got to do with it? – Extraordinary Foundation

January 13, 2010

This post originally ran on July 30, 2009 on the blog, Less Ordinary Living.

Has this ever happened to you? You had an unfocused, unproductive week at work and you couldn’t understand why!

That’s what happened to me last week. I thought I had everything in place – a 3-year business vision, annual goals, monthly revenue projections, a marketing strategy, monthly goals, daily and weekly action steps, two weekly calls with my accountability partner Phil…Yet I still couldn’t get out of my own way. I couldn’t manage to sit down and accomplish much. My attention wandered, I was distracted by email, doing laundry and waiting for the next post to pop up on Facebook. I was having trouble sleeping and was exhausted most of the day.

What was up? What kind of coach and role model was I being? I followed all the rules, implemented all the systems for success and still nothing could break me out of my unproductive funk.

Disturbed, I pulled out my journal and began to write down any thought that came into my head. Surprisingly, not many of them were work related. Here’s what came out on the page – I’ve been struggling with the chronic illness of a family member, worried about my husband and concerned how much longer he can endure working at his unfulfilling job while managing a job search in this economy, feeling guilty because I’ve been busy and out of touch with friend and family, worried about money, and frustrated that I haven’t finished my home office renovations yet.

My guess is a few of these ring true for you as well. So many of us push through the daily tasks of our work telling ourselves that we’ll get to our personal lives later, when we’re done with work. Yet work never quite seems to end and later keeps getting pushed off. And if you’re like me, when I don’t take time to focus on my personal life, honor what’s important to me and process my emotions, I feel like I’m on shaky ground, carrying a bag of rocks around with me through dense fog. And boy does it wipe me out trying to work while I’m carrying those rocks through the fog! Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our personal life is with us during our workday. The unresolved issues and unprocessed emotions take space in your brain; they mentally (and physically) wear you out and keep you from doing your best work.

As I’ve moved through my career, I’ve noticed my tolerance for pushing off my personal life has decreased as the impact it has on my professional success increases. I now see self-care as a top priority not only in having a high quality of life but also in my career success. If I don’t have the solid foundation of my personal life, no matter how hard I try, I cannot be fully present and successful in running my business.

So when it hit me last week that life was getting in the way of business, I took swift action. I made time for some self-care, I got in touch with friends and family, I talked to my coach, did some financial planning and finally got my home office together.
The energy shift was amazing! Not only do I feel good about the attention I paid to my personal life but in less than a week’s time, I’ve gotten many tasks off the work to-do list and several doors have opened to exciting and unexpected opportunities.
I am taking away a powerful lesson from this experience; a critical key to career success is making your personal life a priority. Taking time to care for yourself, process your emotions and nourish your relationships not only frees you from carrying that bag of rocks through fog, it also is a vital source of energy to accomplish nothing less than the extraordinary in your business and career!

What’s standing the way of your career success? What needs handling in your personal life? What support do you need to move forward?

Less is More – Terminator Salvation

January 13, 2010

This post originally ran on June 9, 2009 on the blog, Less Ordinary Living.

You may be wondering what the movie Terminator Salvation has to do with living an extraordinary life.  It’s simple really, when presented with limited options, our choice can be a gateway to the less than ordinary experience of deep appreciation and greater satisfaction.

My husband and I spent the past week at his family’s lake house in the Adirondack Mountains of NY. It was just the two of us taking some much needed time to recharge our batteries.  We had little plans other than reading, walking, talking, hiking, kayaking, and enjoying the incredible nature and wildlife that surrounded us. But as Friday rolled around, we thought we’d head into town, mingle with other people and see a movie.

The Strand movie theater in Schroon, NY has one screen.  It plays one movie a week and has 3 showings – Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 8pm.  This weekend, it was Terminator Salvation.

I have always had a belief that more possibilities are better.  It helps us to feel less trapped and more in control of where our lives are heading.  But that belief was challenged this week at the movies.  There I was, making the choice to see a movie I otherwise wouldn’t have (summer blockbuster action films are typically not my thing). Yet I can say I was truly happy in the theater watching Terminator Salvation and enjoying myself more than I would have had I had my choice of 16 different movies playing at 5 local theaters, at my choices of at least 100 different show times throughout the day.

Why was this I wondered?  And then it hit me – sometimes less really is more.  With all those choices typically in front of us, we have to make the perfect choice – that’s what all those options imply is attainable, right?  We can’t be happy unless it’s the right theater, the right time and the right movie.

But I noticed sitting there at the Strand that night how the limit of choice allowed me to fully appreciate the little things about the experience.  The friendly projectionist who also sold us our tickets, the $1 bottle of water, the restored art deco interior, the old piano up by the screen left over from the days of silent films, the conversations amongst us movie-goers (aka strangers) as we left the film.  And I have to admit, I allowed myself to be entertained by the movie.  Was it great film? Certainly not.  But on that night, it was perfectly extraordinary.

I walked away with a reminder of a valuable lesson. Seeing possibilities and feeling at choice is not about collecting a laundry list of options and trying to find the perfect combination.  Choice is about seeing what’s in front of us – even if it appears to be an undesirable option – and choosing how to be in relation with it.  Happiness and satisfaction can come to us in the most unexpected of ways if we allow it.

Bring Less is More to Your Own Life

Where in your life or work are you stuck and feeling like you will never find the perfect choice?

How can you see the options in front of you with new eyes and appreciate the satisfaction they can bring you?

Look for Potential, Not Problems

January 11, 2010

This post originally ran on May 29, 2009 on the blog, Less Ordinary Living.

I’ve come to notice that in work and in life, we are often focused on solving problems. That’s what people are asking for when they come to us for advice and it’s how we feel we help them. Yet have you ever noticed how you can help someone resolve an issue only to have it come back over and over again? Or that someone comes asking for help with a problem only to react that that don’t like being ‘told what to do’.

What if we were to do something out of the ordinary?  Change our approach?  Go one step further, and give the people coming to us something bigger than they knew possible?  Shift our perspective towards looking for potential vs. looking for problems? It would be a powerful new way to add value.

Let’s start with some definitions from The American Heritage® Dictionary

Problem: Any question or matter involving doubt, uncertainty, or difficulty. Difficult to deal with or control.

Potential:  Possible, as opposed to actual; the inherent ability or capacity for growth, development, or coming into being.  Something possessing the capacity for growth or development.

Here are two simple ways two can begin looking for potential:

1. Giving An A

In the book, The Art of Possibility, Rosamund Stone Zander & Benjamin Zander share a simple way to shift perceptions that’s borrowed from the life lessons of grading students in class.  What if everyone was an A student?  How would you view them and shift your expectations of them?

In doing this you find yourself speaking to people not from a place of measuring how they stack up against your standards, but from a place of respect that gives them room to realize themselves.  It gives others a possibility to live into versus an expectation to live up to.  The freely given A expresses a vision of partnership, teamwork and relationship.  Remember, you can’t change people, but you have the power to change the relationship between you.

TO DO: Every time you interact with people start off by giving them an A in your mind – set aside past interactions and any judgments you might have and credit them with the best intentions.

2.      Listen for and point out the special gifts or talents others bring to their challenging situation.

Most of us just listen for what we need from others.  Or we’re waiting for the opportunity to solve the problem and move on.  This often leads us into seeing others as problems and puts them in a box – they’re wrong, we’re right; they’re broken and we have to fix them.

On the surface, it feels like solving their problem is what they want, what you should do.  But if you dig deeper you will find that you have robbed them of knowing their power and their gifts.

TO DO: First, listen for the strengths the individual brings to the table.  (For example, someone brings a very detailed and thorough approach to their work.)

Then point out these strengths to the person.  (“Wow, it sounds like you have really done your homework and gathered a vast amount details around making this decision.”)

Lastly, reinforce their strengths and empower them to take action on their own.  (“What do you know to be true based on all that you’ve gathered?  What do you think is the best path to choose?  What more, if anything, do you need to consider?”)

The people around us are creative and resourceful.  Help them to know this and you will affect them profoundly in that moment and for much time to come.  They will start to see themselves as potential and not problems.  They will know their value and will become empowered to take ownership.

Your Call To Action: Shift your perspective from problems to potential; Grant an A to everyone you encounter.  Look for and acknowledge their potential and watch what happens!